CHEMFETS ARE EVERYWHERE
by Nanomemes
Summary: [David Tai] Sylvie Paula Paula teams up with Benimaru to solve a conspiracy. [Complete]
1. When Sylvie Met Benny

CHEMFETS ARE EVERYWHERE

_Happy easter everybody._

_Have some conspiracy theories, courtesy of David Tai._

* * *

Whip was in a hurry. She had an -important- concert that she absolutely had to be at. It was, after all, her release outlet - something Seirah could enjoy and just hang out. An opportunity to take a break from being a Soldier, and to just be a girl.

The problem was, she had an unwanted tagalong who was -busy- talking about her latest NESTS investigation. She trotted along behind Whip, her strange too-big hair and enormous eyeball ornaments bouncing up and down. She really was quite a particular sight to behold.

She babbled in Whip's ear. Whip gritted her teeth and smiled the most painful smile she had ever pulled off.

"... and NESTS is busy putting chemfets into the water. If they activate, they swap bodies. BOW! ZAP! SWAP!"

Whip groaned. She -wanted- to help the ex-NESTS people find a new life, but there were some people that were really difficult to help.

Sylvie Paula Paula was one of those. She was the textbook example of 'failed NESTS experiment' and had never worked out quite right. She was strong, yes. She had all the powers that were built into her… but there was something wrong with the circuits in her brain. Well, perhaps not -wrong-, just… not normal.

Whip had tried helping her along by passing her missions that were too minor for IKARI to deal with. Or otherwise too nutty. Leaving her to sit around and marinate in her own craziness was possibly the worst thing for her. She needed to be out and about, doing something.

What she failed to reckon with, however, was the insanity that had rubbed off on her during her long stay with the NESTS scientists. That bunch were renown for both their strangeness and their genius, and Sylvie seemed to have inherited a bit of both.

Whip was never quite sure where Sylvie came up with all of her crazy premonitions. A world-ending threat in NeoGeo Battle Coliseum? As if…! Still, Sylvie did her -best- to fight NESTS… or whatever remained of it, among other things. Sometimes the threats she came up with -were- real, if possibly over-exaggerated. Whip had concluded the girl just had a fondness for conspiracy theories.

"I mean, If you somehow got chemfet-infested… do you want to see Iori as Miss X? And then there's Terry Bogard with Mai-boobs!"

Whip came to a stop and exhaled forcefully before turning to study Sylvie's mismatched eyes. They were perfectly earnest. Perfectly sincere. She believed every word she was saying.

And that was exactly what Whip was afraid of. Was Sylvie chasing reality or fantasy? Had she resigned herself to craziness? Given up on reality? It was hard to say… but so far evidence was pointing toward the latter.

The problem was, Sylvie was anchored enough in reality that she -did- turn out to be quite useful in dealing with things that IKARI wouldn't even touch, even with her inferiority complex. Even if Whip had to defend the former NESTS experiment to Heidern.

There was a tense silence. Whip did her absolute best to not let _'flabbergasted'_ show on her face as she turned to looked at her companion again.

"Look, Sylvie, I'm sure if there were chemfets in the water, it'd be very bad. So, please, take some time off and investigate it as you like," Whip responded - her voice terse.

Sylvie thought that was a fantastic idea and her expression lit up. She clapped her hands and began bouncing more rigorously.

"All right! But don't I get backup...? What about that cute rocklet, can I rent him again? Maybe I'll get his fingerprints this time."

"NO!" That denial came out much less orderly than Whip would have liked. She tried to regain her composure. "He's mine. I've got business with him. I need him playing in that concert!"

"Hmph hmph hmph... your danger level's rising. You should just let it all out with Rockling. Like, the Big Bang!"

Whip rubbed the corners of her eyes. She was already regretting this. "I'll see if I can find someone..."

"Unleash the happiness with Bedrock!"

"I meant find someone to help you with your investigation!"

* * *

Rock was fine-tuning his guitar and trying studiously to ignore the not-very-inconspicuous blonde broomhead that was snooping around. While he was pretty damn familiar with Benimaru Nikaido and thusly didn't think of him as paparazzi, Rock Howard was sure that whatever was going on, he didn't -want- any part in it.

_Just... ignore the weird. Let crazy deal with crazy…_

Rock Howard didn't know why Benimaru had showed up. Apparently he and the boss had some bad history, and… well… whatever it was, he didn't to get involved or otherwise attract any trouble. He eyed the strangely dressed blonde man out of the corner of his eye and hoped he had come for -Iori-, and that the band leader would take care of the matter as soon as he got back from instructing the sound mixer just -how- that bass was supposed to be adjusted.

_That 'weird' is for boss… just leave it…_

"PEBBLES!"

Rock startled and whipped around. He spied Seirah and Sylvie making their way over to him. Ok, this was his brand of 'weird'.

"Seirah!... and… Sylvie… " Rock's greeting was hesitant, his expression wary as he tried to figure out just what -that- particular duo wanted this time.

Seirah smiled, for a brief instant, before her face hardened a bit. "Sorry, Howard," Whip replied. "I picked up an unexpected visitor. She's been talking to me about all kinds of NESTS conspiracies and insisted on telling me all about the ones she's paranoid about."

"It's not paranoia if they're out to get you," Sylvie insisted. "The chemfets are everywhere."

Whip smiled blandly and gently patted Sylvie on the shoulder. "Look, just... Howard, can you watch her for a minute? I'd like to use the restroom... alone." I need a bit of time to get my head together, her gaze implored.

"Um, ok," Rock responded. "I get it, I get it."

"Watch out for the toilet paper that has no perforations! They're -infested- with chemfets!" Sylvie called back, before looking back at Rock with mismatched eyes. "Hey Rubble, did you know there's a brushroom lurking behind the potted plant?"

_Brushroo-... ah._

"Yeah, that's Benimaru. He's looking for something. Dunno what..." Rock didn't even look up, re-focusing his attention on calibrating his guitar strings and pinging them to make sure they were tuned. He didn't need Iori going ballistic today. He could only deal with one crazy at a time.

"Oh, okay!"

* * *

What Benimaru Nikaido was seeking was an explanation. Somehow… somehow Iori Yagami, after years of utter and mutual hatred, was on good terms with Kyo Kusanagi - seemingly out of the blue. Recently Benimaru had become suspicious his best friend had become romantically involved with that red-haired idiot!... and his 'love quest' demanded he uncover whatever witchcraft Iori had employed to win Kyo's affections.

… affections that, but right, belonged to him and him alone.

_You're destined to be with me Kyo… you just need to realize that Iori's been deceiving you…_

A little fame-handling, a little glad-handling, and Benimaru was able to gain access to the backstage, where he immediately began snooping around. What he hadn't expected was someone surprising him out of nowhere.

_How did I not notice someone dressed in such lurid colors?_

"There's room for only one electric cutie here, and that's me! You're being naughty, Broomhead!"

Benimaru looked disdainfully at the NESTS girl.

"What are -you- doing here? Shoo, shoo. Go away. I've got important things do."

"Like what, inspecting the potted plant for signs of chemfets infection? That's my job!"

Benimaru huffed and planted his hands on his hips.

"No, I... chemfets?"

"Chemfets! They're everywhere. NESTS uses them for -everything-."

"Um... what're chemfets?"

"You don't know?" Sylvie looked at the taller man disapprovingly, before wagging a finger. "Chemfets are..."

She proceeded to launch into a long technobabble that Benimaru could only keep up partly with. Something about chemicals, alteration of RNA, delivery mechanisms, and...

"Are you saying chemfets can alter people's personalities?"

"That's one of the things they can do! They also camp out on these little aglets in your shoes so that they can proceed to feast on the chemicals that produce your body scents, which is why you can't smell them even though other people can!"

... That -could- explain a lot about Kyo and Iori.

"Say, uh, how would we go about looking for these things..."

"Oh. You gonna help me? YAY!" Sylvie waved her hands, the eyeballs bobbling with each arm motion. "You can help me prepare!"

* * *

"Where's Sylvie?" Seirah asked, seeing that Rock was completely involved with his guitar practice, and not at all watching Sylvie.

Rock looked up then looked around rapidly. "Uh... I don't know, I wasn't paying attention. I think she was talking to someone and then they just left."

"Oh no."

"It was Benimaru Nikaido."

Whip considered that. What did she know about him…

Rock shrugged. "Let crazy deal with crazy… speaking of which, Seir-"

His sentence was cut short as he was promptly bitchslapped off his stool.

* * *

What preparations Benimaru expected, he didn't know. But he never expected...

"What are we doing in Southtown, Sylvie?"

Somehow, one way or the other, Sylvie had managed to convince Benimaru to fly them down to Southtown. They had broken into Iori's apartment and were currently making a mess of his belongings.

"We're spraying for chemfets, BRUSHROOM! If you want to find out if your friend's been chemfeted, then we're going to test him with SHOCK AND BUZZ! And we start with his apartment where one of the chemfet infestations was!"

"Shock... and... buzz..."

"That's right! SHOCK AND BUZZ!"

* * *

_Sylvie is coming out to be one of my faves... Hopefully David will write her more._

_As per usual, please direct all compliments to him - wheter it be via FF PM, or Discord._


	2. The Sky Stage is Cast

More good stuff from David Tai.

Also, ChemFETS are an actual thing. except it's literally a tool to measure the concentration of a solution. It's incredibly dull. I like this version better. :)

* * *

Benimaru Nikaido had never had the misfortune to be in Iori Yagami's site of residence.

It was a small, shady looking one bedroom apartment in the middle of gang territory, located above a sad looking flower shop. It was sparsely decorated and boasted no luxury whatsoever, except for a fancy looking mustang in the carport.

_What a barbarian… _

Apparently, Iori stayed here for the majority of the year in order to avoid paying his taxes. He seemed to have some asinine idea that if he pretended to be poor, the IRS wouldn't come after him. He had even written 'Miss X' on his lease in a sorry attempt to hide from the Government.

_What a weak disguise… I wonder why they haven't arrested him yet? There's no way they were actually tricked… _

Benimaru couldn't help but roll his eyes and huff quietly to himself. If only the American authorities had done their jobs and locked Iori away, then Benimaru's '_love quest'_ would proceed unhindered. Nevertheless, as usual, he would just have to make do. If he wanted something done right, he would have to do it himself. Iori Yagami was up to something, and Benimaru was going to bust him.

So imagine his surprise when, upon breaking into Iori's apartment, there was neither sign of Devil Worship nor any cultish pharenphelia whatsoever. He convinced himself for so long that the red haired man had turned to nefarious means to win Kyo's affections, the the lack of evidence backing his conspiracy was jarring at the least.

_There's not even a Kyo shrine anywhere… how can this be?!_

Of course, not that Benimaru Nikaido had one, of course. -His- shrine was devoted blissfully to the magnificence that was 'Benimaru Nikaido'.

Benimaru huffed as he stood in the painfully boring living room. He was afraid to sit on the couch (who knew where it had come from), and refused to step foot into the bedroom (who knew what sort of things happened in there?) He leaned over to peek through the bedroom doorway to watch Sylvie tear her way through Iori's rather eccentric closet.

Tsch. Maybe he should raid Iori's liquor cabinet? If he was going to wait on Sylvie to find whatever she was looking for, he was helping himself to something to calm his nerves. Iori was touring in Asia at the moment, so the investigative duo were in no danger of being deep-fried.

_Let's see, if I were a nice bottle of Scotch whiskey, where would I be?… ah! The mini-bar cabinet setup!_

Benimaru pursued the surprisingly expansive selection before finding a glass and pouring himself a fingerful of Scotch, neat. He leaned against the doorframe and nursed his drink as he watched Sylvie shower the room with undergarments.

_What is she even looking for? Weren't we supposed to zap somethi-_

"I've found it!" Sylvie crowed, holding up a small box, in front of an opened safe.

_Wait, what? Where did... how did she even find that safe?_

Approaching Sylvie, Benimaru squinted and rubbing his chin. "I don't get it... what's in that?"

"Patience, Polnareff." Sylvie chirped, as she popped the box open. Benimaru's eyes widened.

"Holy shit, that's a Daytona Exotic!"

It was rumored that one of Iori Yagami's prized treasures was a special Rolex watch, but this was exceeding even Benimaru's wildest expectation. An exotic variant of a Rolex, made popular by Paul Newman, these things ran into the thousands, perhaps millions, of US Dollars. Shit, how Yagami had gotten his hands on one...

And there was Sylvie Paula Paula, prancing around with it held high up in her hands as she did a jiggle dance, her eyeballs bobbing up and down.

_Wait..._

"Hey, Sylvie, what does that have to do with Chemfets?"

"It's evidence of the secret war that Chizuru Kagura has been fighting with Those From the The Past!"

_... What?_

* * *

Benimaru had listened to some interesting lectures in his time. He'd been present for the King of Fighters tournament briefings, listened to financial briefings, even to investors who wanted his funding for their strange business projects...

But this lecture had to be the strangest he'd even bore witness to.

He had never dealt with was a lecture hosted by an insane human experiment wearing eyeball hairpins, who insisted to illustrate her point with with crayon-scribble on a wall. She drew faces that represented Iori, complete with fanged teeth, and Kyo, with fire emerging from his eyes. There was a broken alarm clock that was yellow-stickied 'ThOsE frOm beYonD', and one bottle of vodka was tagged 'Chizuru'. All hosted on Iori coffee table, at that.

"Okay, so this Chizuru has been fighting a long war..." Sylvie tapped the bottle, before pushing it further away, and taking the hairpins and leaning them against the bottle."She's been using Kyo and Iori to battle this snake..."

Where Sylvie pulled out the rubber snake from, Benimaru didn't even question anymore.

"Orochi. Now Iori and Kyo and Chizuru sealed Orochi..."

WHAM went the bottle on the rubber snake, followed by the hairpins stuck in the eyes.

"But then those from beyond came along, after everyone left..." She pulled off the bottle and the hairpins, leaving the limp rubber snake alone, and moved the clock over. "And they wanted to reinflate Orochi. And that's where the chemfets come in, and..."

An air pump joined the diorama on the table, but before Sylvie started pumping, Benimaru slammed his hand down on the hose. "Just get on with it!"

"Oh. Okay, so Chizuru came up with a plan to stop Axolotl-Man from coming back. Because she needed to be fighting people from the past, she needed some time devices..." She held up the watch. "And then she spent time developing things in Southtown..." A pair of scissors came out, and then...

... was she attaching little wings to 'Iori' and 'Kyo'?

"And so Chizuru decided to grant flight to everyone, so they could fight Orochi." Now Sylvie had a pair of 'winged' hairpins, which she made 'pew pew pew' noises as she flew them towards Orochi. "And so Operation: Sky Stage!"

Benimaru stared.

And then he took 'Chizuru' and took a very, very, very long draught from the bottle.

* * *

_all complements to David Tai please._


	3. The Melancholy of Benimaru Nikaido

_Soyboi explores insanity._

* * *

Benimaru Nikaido didn't know Chizuru Kagura very well. He knew some things _about_ her though. He knew she was _apparently _an amazingly kind woman who happened to run the world's largest Pharmaceutical company with a ruthless efficiency. (Benimaru found it suspicious that one could be so high-powered without being an utter asshole). She had also hosted the King of Fighters tournament a few times. He'd seen her gathering up Kyo and Iori, and _somehow _coaxing them into working together to keep Orochi caged. But these days, with the demon safely sealed away, she kept herself quietly busy, as was fitting for the CEO and majority shareholder of the enormous Kagura Conglomerate.

But one thing he was quite sure of was that, contrary to whatever Sylvie Paula Paula said, Chizuru was -not- running a secret conspiracy against the ... _people from the past...?... the entire thing is impossible._

"Ok, Sylvie..." Benimaru began, while the eyeful girl fiddled with her new-found toy, Iori's very, very, very expensive watch. Benimaru placed his scotch on Iori's coffee table as massaged his temples as he evaluated his options. _What do you say to someone that's clearly off her rocker?_

"Listen, um, is there someone who's in charge of... you?"

"Nope! Before, it used to be NESTS, but I think Kyo killed him. One of the Kyos, anyway, I'm not sure which one."

Benimaru blinked. _Multiple Kyos...?_

"Ahem. Anyway, maybe we should call and let, uh, someone know about what we've found out about... time travellers."

"Those From the Past aren't time travellers," Sylvie pointed out. "Well, except maybe Ash, who's trapped outside of time because he prevented himself from being born."

The line was so ridiculous that Benimaru couldn't help but ask.

"Who's Ash? What're you talking about?"

"You don't know him? He won the King of Fighters!"

"What? There was never an Ash in King of Fighters!"

Sylvie covered her mouth. "Oh no, the chemfets've gotten to you too!"

The next thing Benimaru Nikaido knew, he had an... eyeball stuck in his mouth.

"Time for Eye SCREAM!"

* * *

_"_You gotta help me, Goro. She's talking about some guy named Ash and about how he took all the powers from Iori and Chizuru and now Chizuru wants to give everyone flight so that they can fight Orochi!_" _Benimaru babbled into his phone in Japanese.

It'd taken some doing, but once Benimaru was able to free himself from a mouthful of eye (mostly by smiling, nodding, and agreeing when Sylvie asked if he'd seen the light), he had hightailed his way out of Iori's trashed apartment and onto one of his father's private jets, which was sitting in the SouthTown's international airport - waiting to take off. Normal _plebeian_ airplanes didn't have internet or phone access, but the Nikaido group spared no expense.

Benimaru sighed and swirled his Martini. He had left Sylvie searching through Iori's closet _("For evidence of Miss X! She lives here, I know it! I've seen the lease!"). _And upon finally extricating himself from her strange plan, Benimaru had to called the only reliable person he knew.

_[Mmmhmm.]_

"I swear, cross my heart, this isn't about Iori trying to steal Kyo's heart again, okay? That's a different issue, but Sylvie is completely nuts. What am I supposed to do with this kind of crazy?"

Goro's voice was dry and calm, like a long-suffering patient man trying to find something -nice- to say. _[...Well, you have to admit, you both have some interesting... alternate theories about why things happen the way they do.] _

"Interesting? Me? Well, there is overwhelming evidence supporting _mine, _Sylvie's claims are entirely unfounded. She's been going on about 'Those from the Past' doing things with the Sacred Treasures!_"_

_[What...? Wait. Those From the Past...?]_

"Yes! Ridiculous righ-... Wait, you've heard of them...?"

_[Kyo mentioned it once, but I never really thought about it, since it was taken care of.]_

Benimaru was suddenly indignant.

"What?! He never breathed a word to me about it!"

_[You, uh, had enough on your mind at the time.]_

"All right, all right, so what do you know?"

_[Just what Kyo told me. That someone stole Chizuru's and Iori's treasures, and he had to help get them back. Now that I think about it, I think they found out the guy's name was Ash.]_

Benimaru was flabbergasted.

"Fuck. You telling me she actually found out some conspiracy?"

_[Not exactly. From what you told me, their stories don't match up exactly. Then again, the fact that your weird girl knows something only a few people knows is... concerning.]_

"So what would... hm. Wait, that means the best place to get answers are from..."

_[Kyo, Iori, Chizuru.]_

_"_I'm not calling Iori. Kyo..._"_

_[... is on vacation with Yuki. Don't think about it.] _Goro's voice was strong and firm.

_"_I've got to call Kagura-san, don't I?"

_[Yes- if you want answers that is.]_

_"_She might be annoyed with me."

_[She's apparently very nice… but then again, she bosses Kyo and Iori around - which is no easy feat. You'd best tread carefully] _

"Okay, what do you thi-"

_[Sorry Benny, I have something to do.]_

"Wai-"

*CLICK*

Goro, clearly fed up, hung up the phone.

* * *

Chizuru Kagura was quite good at controlling her expressions. At one time in the past, she had cracked and let her true thoughts shine through - leading into a real mess on the icy rock of Iceland. Now that that unpleasant situation was settled and buried, Chizuru had been unusually careful about maintaining pretenses.

Even so, she couldn't help by grind her teeth when the name 'NIKAIDO.' flashed up on her work phone. The Nikaido banking group had already given her enough trouble by shorting her stock - and they had turned a tidy profit betting her into the ground during the Ash Crimson incident. Luckily with the return of her mirror, she had made a clean recovery - yet she still held a grudge. Several months ago the Nikaido group had offered to purchase one of her company's offshoot companies at a generous price. Of course, she sold it - but had loaded it with as much debt as she could (without being detected) before sending it off. Hopefully they were feeling the sting.

_Technically illegal, but if they come suing, at least the Lawyers on payroll will have something to do… _

She sighed and drummed her fingers on the conference table until they began to ache. Before her sat her team of notoriously fussy accountants who insisted on her presence whilst they presented their increasingly complicated reports. They were currently loudly criticizing each other's formats and it was beginning to cause a painful thudding between Chizuru's eyes.

_The secretary knows I won't talk to Nikaido… why in the world would she send me this call… but then again, it might be better than listening to this squabble. _

She stood up and politely excused herself to the hallway, holding the phone's base in one hand, and letting the cord drag on the floor behind her. Although she was unhappy with the firm, she would maintain the appropriate business-formal pretenses.

_"_Hello, Kagura speaking. How can I help you, Nikaido. I hope the subsidiary is doing-_"_

A voice much higher than she had expected replied. She almost emitted a surprised noise as, instead of the father, the Nikaido group's fashionista son began chattering over the phone like an excited teenager. Benimaru Nikaido, the utter definition of 'bimbo'. The brat probably didn't have enough brain capacity to power a lightbulb, much less understand his father's business.

_"[Sorry to call, Kagura-san, but uh, I've got a weird girl here claiming that there's a conspiracy involving you and Those From the Past.]"_

Chizuru blinked a few times and leaned against the wall as she was bombarded with mostly nonsense. The brat hadn't even introduced himself. What sort of idiot dared call _her_ without an appropriate greeting? Wait… _what did he say?_

"Benimaru? What are you tal-"

_"[She used to be a NESTS person, she said, before she left and started working with Whip.]"_

Chizuru's placid expression almost snapped right there. She hurriedly repressed the feeling of panic which flooded her chest. Her fake smile had turned into a snarl - she fixed that as well.

_NESTS? What...nobody should know anything. Whip... isn't she one of that damn Heidern's people? No way… has he found something on me?!_

She controlled her tone as she spoke, fighting to keep the snarl out, and the 'compassionate lady' in.

_"_Pray tell, Nikaido, Who is she?_"_

_"[Her name's Sylvie Paula Paula. Know her? She's been in some local tournaments. Not KOF yet.]"_

_"_No, not yet that is. Do me a favor and introduce me?_" _

Benimaru ignored her and kept jabbering. Chizuru made a fist, squeezed until her nails imprinted on her palm, then relaxed. She took deep breaths. She needed to be controlled. If anything, she didn't need this primadonna loudmouth going about spreading any nasty rumors about her.

_[She also claims some guy named Ash exists outside of time, and that you've been fighting some war against Those From the Past.]"_

_ASH! Nobody was supposed to know about that but Kyo and Iori… who is this woman!_

_[So I just wanted to ask you if any of this is true because I've been super worr-]_

_"_Bring her here!_"_

_[-ied abou-... wait, there? But you're in Japan right now, aren't you? I just flew out of Southtown.]_

Chizuru blinked and exhaled. When she spoke again, the edge was off her voice.

"Nikaido. I just need to confirm a few things. I'm a bit concerned about her mental state, especially since she's under the care of an old friend. I'd like for my doctors to examine her. Would you help me?"

_[Wait what abou-]_

"Bring her to me and I'll give you the answers you want. It will be worth your time, I promise. You don't mind do you? Do you need a plane?"

_[Uh… no but... ]_

"Then please, Tokyo - as soon as you can. Thank you."

Then Chizuru hung up.

* * *

Benimaru eyed his phone after Chizuru hung up on him. She was lucky he hadn't taken off yet, as she clearly expected him to bring Sylvie to Japan. He sighed and phoned the limousine driver. In half an hour, he had arrived back at Iori's - now completely wrecked - apartment.

As he entered the residence, he found Sylvie emptying all of Iori's various shampoos down the sink. He just leaned against the doorframe and stared silently. Somehow just being in her presence was exhausting.

"BROOMHEAD! Pass me that! I need to test it from Chemfets!"

She pointed insistantly at the tin of hair gel on top of the cabinet. Benimaru reluctantly passed it to her. She recieved it happily and began emptying by globs down the drain. She nodded solemnly at him.

"What's wrong Brushroom?... what are you wearing that look!?"

The blonde man deadpanned at her.

"What look?"

"The one where the scientists were bringing a straitjacket and helping me put it on."

_... if only..._

* * *

Sylvie is a treat as always.

All credit to David Tai per usual.


	4. The Intrigue of Chizuru Kagura

_Final Chapter of the Great Saga. Sylvie Paula Paula vs Chizuru Kagura? Who will win! What sort of craziness brought these two together?_

_Benimaru is the craziness. The poor soyboy just wanted to find his way into Kyo's pants, but instead spends his time trying to understand Miss InternetBrain. gg._

_Please - all compliments directed to David Tai. Much appreciated._

* * *

"Nikaido… who is this girl, and what is she doing with my water dispenser?"

Chizuru Kagura wasn't certain what she expected to find when she stepped out of her office after her secretary had announced the arrival of Benimaru Nikaido and Sylvie Paula Paula.

What she did -not- expect to see was a girl dressed in a loud, garish dress with an ornamental eyeball motif. The outfit looked like it belonged in a circus, or perhaps on the runway. The girl had overturned the large water bottle, and was poking the surface of the liquid with what looked like the letter opener purloined from her secretary's desk.

_So this is Sylvie Paula Paula. A failed experiment - and miserable failure to be sure… at least they managed to unlock her electronic powers. She has no friends save those things she wears, and apparently she hears voices in her head._

"That's Sylvie," Chizuru turned her bland smile upon Benimaru, who bowed. "Kagura-san. I wish I could say father bids you well, but I haven't spoken to him in a while." He proffered a box of dried fish roe, a supposed gift… She'd feed it to her koi pond.

_Well, at least -this- one has some manners._

Taking the box and placing it on the secretary's desk, Chizuru took a moment to compose herself. Normally she'd never give _little people_ like this the time of day, but this was a matter of chief importance. If the poor failed experiment knew what Chizuru thought she knew, then drastic measures had to be taken. Firstly, she would need to determine the girl's sources, then she would pull strings to have blood spilled.

She smiled sweetly and beckoned at the gaudily dressed girl, knowing this might be the last smile she would see.

"Miss-"

Sylvie, who was kneeling on carpet, looked up. Chizuru blinked and briefly hesitated as she noticed the girl's two eyes weren't looking in the same direction. She dropping her letter opener and chirped in an innocent, girlish voice.

"Hi, Maki!"

Chizuru's fake expression almost snapped right there.

… _WHAT?!_

"Or is it Chizuru? You do look alike," Sylvie commented, finger to her lips. She spoke as if she were merely rattling off common knowledge. Knowledge with no weight or meaning at all, when, in fact, a mere tenth of the things Sylvie was saying was enough to get her culled thrice over. Chizuru was becoming more and more antsy.

_How could she - of all people - know these things? Where did my secrets spread?... who betrayed me this time… I'll drown them in the bay. _

Sylvie's demeanor was bright and cheery. She likely didn't know she was providing the nails to not only her own coffin, but the coffins of anyone Chizuru thought was involved. The businesswoman already had some names in mind. _Iori can handle the ones on the American East Coast. I can ask Heidern a favor for the three I need dead in Europe, an-_

Sylvie interrupted her thoughts.

"I forget, is it the Hakkeshu or NESTS that you're fighting now?"

"... you told me it was Those From the Past," Benimaru frowned and grumbled from behind the overturned water jug. He crossed his arms over his stupid leopard printed crop-top, and puckered his lips like the spoiled brat he was.

Sylvie pirouetted around to address him.

"It gets confusing keeping everything straight," She nodded, tapping a finger to her temple. "I mean, Kukri wants to make -everyone- girls, since he likes them big. Though why he wants to make them giants, I don't know."

Benimaru's outward expression of utter dumbfoundedness mirrored Chizuru's thoughts. She continued to beam her bland smile whilst determining the most efficient way to erase them both. After all, if Benimaru had spent enough time listening to these dangerous secrets… _well, how unfortunate. But this is why I have lawyers… Maybe I should just toss them in the trash compactor and let the janitors take them out. It's easy, fast, relatively clea-_

"I don't even know who Kukri is!"

Benimaru continued whining. Sylvie continued to answer matter-o-factly. She accentuated her speech with strange hand gestures.

"He's my teammate in King of Fighters!"

"You haven't -even- entered a King of Fighters tournament yet!"

"Oh. It's not that time yet? Who's running King of Fighters now? Those From the Past? Antonov? Wait, is it Papa Goose now?"

Chizuru's smile must have faltered because Benimaru suddenly turned his attention from the amalgamation of hair and eyeballs, to her. He rubbed the back of his head nervously. "I… I don't know Sylvie… uh… " He looked up sheepishly at Chizuru and gestured vaguely at Sylvie. "So I've brought her here like you asked, Ms. Kagura. Can I go now…?"

"No."

He seemed about to protest, but stopped as he caught her icy gaze. He squirmed uncomfortably. She prodded his brain to ensure her commands were obeyed.

"Wait in the hall… and leave my secretary alone. She's a lesbian, so your charms are wasted on her."

"Oh… oh, okay." Benimaru shrugged as he exited to the secretary's office. Chizuru proceeded to her office with the insane girl in tow.

* * *

"And now, I have a few questions to ask you." Chizuru began.

She planted her elbows on her large desk and folded her hands, pressing both thumbs against her lips. Across from her, in the guest seat, a mess of hair and eyeballs looked at everything in the room at once. She had unscrewed the lightbulb from Chizuru's desk-lamp and was shaking it beside her ear, before sticking it in her mouth, where it lit up. Chizuru had no idea what she was doing and it was disconcerting, but the CEO of Kagura Pharmaceuticals was a master of keeping composure.

"I loved you in Rumble in the Bronx, Francoise!" Sylvie clapped her hands together, letting the bulb fall from her tongue, onto the floor, where it shattered. She pulled a heavy looking book and inkpad from… _hold on,_ _where did she get-_

"Do you mind if I have a fingerprint for my collection?"

Chizuru didn't even have time to hide the confusion in her voice.

"Wh-what? Excus-…"

Before she knew it, her index finger had been slathered in black ink, and then pressed into Sylvie's book. Chizuru watched it happen with a grimace… well no matter, she never participated in crimes directly and the government required her fingerprints upon IPO, so there was no actual harm in it. _Still..._

Chizuru hated to admit it, but she was beginning to lose her temper. The two things in the world she hated most was: '_people wasting her time'_ and '_losing, losing control especially'. _Right now, she felt like she had no control of this conversation whatsoever, and it was grating on her.

_Keep it in, Kagura… Don't lose your temper here. You can deal with this calmly… _

Sylvie nodded sagely at her book, put it away, and was about to head out the door when Chizuru slammed her fist into the desk in front of her. How dare this girl treat her so flippantly! Just come in _here_ and take what she wanted? No. She was here so Chizuru Kagura knew who she needed to erase to keep her dealings secret. This was a matter of utmost importance that had to be dealt with as soon as humanly possible. Should she fail, the consequences were dire.

So Chizuru lost her composure. She shouted.

"Stay right there!"

_No questions. No niceties. Just see what she knows…_

"Just look at the pretty mural on the wall, isn't it nice…?" Chizuru snarled, gesturing violently towards the - obviously blank - wall.

"Ooo, it -is- nice. Look at the pretty spirals, it's like a snake eating its own tail…"

_And in…_

_This is the mind of Sylvie Paula Paula?_

It had a million strings leading _everywhere_. A thousand trains of independent thought which seemed to pull from entirely unique sources. Was she… connected to the internet? How could this be?

_Normal people have a single flow of thought… Well Yagami had more, because of Riot and Orochi but… but not nearly so many. Who is this person?! The crazy thing is, she doesn't have multiple personalities, she has multiple… memories?!_

Her memory was entirely disjointed. A normal brain tied memories together, either by association, or by chronology - but not with Sylvie. This mind was entirely chaos. Chizuru felt herself going cross-eyed just looking at it. There was no way she could find what she needed.

_THIS IS A MESS! How does her mind work! I've never seen anything like this… Does she remember the way everyone else does? No, does she even process knowledge the way we do?! The 'voice' in her head… it's -her-, it's getting the information from somewhere, but what and how…?! What did NESTS do to her?!_

Chizuru resisting the urge to do some -cleaning-, lest she be unable to find her way out, and instead turning her attention to … exactly what Sylvie knew of '_Chizuru Kagura'_.

What she came up with were many, many, many different variations of herself.

_Maki…? No, they're all me, but different._

None of the memories really connected to each other; they appeared as if accessed randomly, fired up by a stray thought here or there.

_This 'Francoise' is -not- me!_

_Maki's dead!_

_When did Shingo ever replace me in the King of Fighters?_

_WHO IS BOTAN?!_

_Was I ever -that- innocent?_

_Nonsense. All of this… _

Forcibly bringing herself back from the morass that was Sylvie Paula Paula's mind, Chizuru brought a hand to her chest, trying to regain her composure. She was in her office. She was Chizuru Yata… no, Chizuru Kagura. She was a Sacred Treasure. Her sister was dead.

"You… get out, now!"

She had no composure.

"... can I have the jar of candy, Yohko?" Sylvie asked.

Grabbing the jar from her desk, Chizuru shoved it into her hands and hustled Sylvie out the door before she lost whatever remaining sense she had.

* * *

"How'd it go in there, Sylvie?" Benimaru asked, as he looked up from where he'd been comparing fingernail polish with the secretary.

"Good! She gave me this jar of candy! Bzzzt! A bit of honey and I've got the buzz!" Sylvie responded, practically skipping on her way out. "I'm going to Xanadu!"

"Oh… ok."

Waving a not-so-fond farewell, Benimaru let lose a puff of relief.

At least he was done with -that-.

And he'd be careful, a lot more careful, next time.

Chizuru's office door opened. The woman stalked out. She cast a cruel stare over the room's occupants and curled her lip in contempt. Her demeanor was cold as ice. She marched up to Benimaru and grabbed him by the front of his tiny, skin tight, leopard print leotard. She stared him dead in the eye.

"Where is she?"

"S-she left," Benimaru sat bolt upright. Chizuru wasn't strong enough to lift him by the shirt - but she was intimidating nevertheless. He had always wondered what sort of person could boss Kyo Kusanagi around (since it was a privilege he himself craved dearly), and was now face to face with her. He honestly couldn't pin it down, but she certainly wasn't a mere '_compassionate lady'._

Benimaru averted his eyes from her piercing, icy stare. The answer seemed to wrench from his tongue.

"Said s-she's heading to Xanadu."

Chizuru let him go and narrowed her eyes. The look for utter rage flashed across her face.

"Xanadu's a fictional place, you idiot! Go get her! Get her or I'll make your life miserable!"

...

He was Benimaru Nikaido.

Benimaru, the wealthy. Benimaru, the beautiful. He was the top of the world. The cream of the crop. Everyone wanted him, everyone else wanted to be him (except Kyo Kusanagi, apparently - but that was in the works). Someone like him would _never_ take orders. He would _never_ tolerate being yelled. To be treated like some poor _employee_… nonsense!

But… but today he was going to make an exception.

Because he had the impression that if he dug this hole any deeper, Chizuru Kagura would bury him in it.

* * *

Seirah frowned as her phone beeped. She was waiting for the concert to resume. Rock's band had finished the first half of their performance, and there were holding a short intermission. Seirah muttered to herself as she checked her phone. She disliked working during her '_off-time'. _She noticed the incoming call was from Sylvie Paula Paula, and her frown got deeper. Whip sighed, took a deep breath, and answered.

"Yes? Where did you go?"

[_Oh, I just saw Kagura! The one that's alive.]_

"Chizuru? What… why?"

[_To make sure she wasn't tied into the chemfets! I don't think she has any idea what the chemfets do! So they're probably not connected to Orochi. She's only got eyes for Chris!]_

"I see." _I have -no- idea what you're talking about. _"What're you doing now?"

[_Playing Days of Memories: Xanadu!]_

"... carry on."

After hanging up, Whip slumped her shoulders, before sighing, running a hand through her hair. She noticed that the curtains on stage had closed, and decided she wanted to take a break to watch some dumb action. Perhaps… _Maybe he needs a break too?_

Hesitantly, Seirah dialed Rock.

[_Hello?]_

"Hi. Can we go see a movie?" Seirah asked, half-expecting to be turned down by the sheer audacity of the statement. Bail mid-concert? _Would he?_

[_Sure.]_

Seirah almost snickered in relief, feeling a load lift off of her shoulders… Wait. This was free time for _her… _but certainly not for Rock Howard. He was working, and still had half a concert to get through.

"What about your lunatic boss?"

_[I'll tell him you kidnapped me.]_

"That works."

[_What kind of movie do you want to see?]_

"Anything that's not a conspiracy. See you outside."

[_See you.]_

* * *

_Yag gonna ballistic again. poor bastard. _

_Rock is Chill 100. Whip is adorable asf._

_Benny is no better off than when he started. justice for soyboi amirite?_

_Sylvie lowkey freaks me out. I have no idea how she operates. Like hella._

_I love her._

_kk Nano out. _


End file.
